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What motivated me to work for a pimp - however briefly - a few years ago? He represented protection and stability, and he made me feel special. Of course, this had to do with the manipulative skills of pimps, but he was very good at at. Working as a prostitute, particularly as a streetwalker, you can sometimes feel lost and alone, and when a pimp talks to you, he can make the future sound so much better, so you feel like hanging on to him. And, for me, there is something very sexy about a pimp - he seems more masculine and stronger than a lot of other men, and as a sensitive lady, being around this type of man makes me feel safe.
There is another aspect to the relationship between a prostitute and her pimp which happens to be disturbing: violence, or at least the potential for violence. This one particular pimp I worked for was not violent towards me. (But then, I worked for him very briefly; he and his main lady were from out of state and invited me to accompany them back to their home town. When I said "no", since I was content working in my own city, he accepted my response in a good-natured way.)
I'd had a previous encounter with another pimp, which scared me. Although he did not hit me, he threatened to do so if I didn't bring him a certain amount of money. When I got on the track that night, I mentioned this to the first trick who drove up to me, and he drove me to the apartment where I was living at the time. (I was not living with this pimp - we had just met that same day - and he didn't know where I lived.)
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Would I work for a pimp again? This is not an easy question for me to answer. My first response would be "no", since I do like my freedom to come and go as I wish, working my own hours; however, I also highly value and respect a strong man who could protect me and make me feel I can do my best in this world.
I know what you mean....the way I have to work at present makes me feel safer with one than without, to be frank, it can be rough out there....and maybe I at least have the comfort of being his 'main woman' so to speak. I've felt the same - for me there has always seemed something more masculine about a pimp - I was besotted with one at the age of 19 and never really grew out of that idea. But it need not necessarily be an exploitative, violent relationship in my view - you can try to come to an agreement, set boundaries - although it is hard as men do tend to change the rules as and when they feel.
ReplyDeleteI know the lost and alone feeling - too well. A man who shows you some brightness, makes the future look better, gives you some hope can keep you going, if anything women who work for pimps tend to make more money. It really aint something I would advise for or against - up to you whether or not you want him in your life. But it depends - if he is your lover as well as agent/manager whatever. If so it can give you more power in a sense, but in some ways not. See what I've written on my blog on the subject - such relationships are often more intense and complicated than people assume - i.e men as predators/exploiters, women as victims. Also the song from the musical 'Oliver' - 'As Long as He Needs me' and the Billie Holiday song (she was a sex worker once) 'My Man' sums it up.
A clever pimp does not have to use violence - witholding of affection, sex, drugs, whatever, can be enough to make you get his money. When I do this kind of work, especially on the street and all, I find it hard to be without a man in my life.....but not many 'normal' men are really going to like what I do for a living - so to give whoever it is a share maybe is my way of making it up to whoever it is, as nobody forces me....I do as I will. People don't get it - a friend of mine from a sheltered background said that my man 'makes' me work, or 'lets' me. Both attitudes were insulting to me - because for one I am independent enough not to let any man 'make' me do anything I will not do anyway - secondly I do what I want - not up to any man to 'let' me or not.
Thank you - well said! :)
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